Blog in the Life of A Cannock Girl

Confused to say the least!!

Mr W and I had a massive fight yesterday, well last night but i can feel myself falling in love with him, its terrible, when I go home at night to my gorgeous boyfriend I feel so dirty and horrible, even though I havnt betrayed him physically I feel I am mentally!! I need some help!!!

My long commute this morning was horrible I cried on the train as I was just thinking over and over again about Mr W. And now I'm at work not being able to concentrate and feeling all confused and upset!

Luckily I get to see my dad tomorrow, were going out for a meal and maybe he can help, afterall he has a million affairs, but I dont want an affair I just want to get Mr W out of my head!!

x x x

Well , I am sat in my office watchin the pouring rain coming down outside thinking..oh isnt the dash to catch the train going to be so much more fun now that everyone is soaked? Dont u just love the smell of rain? In normal circumstances it can be nice, but on a train wet dog smell mixed with stale B.O doesnt mix

Anyway had a weird day at work, well having a weird day at work, been speaking to the most goreous man at work today...well call him Mr C, he was upset as his wife has just lost their baby but as he spoke i realised how gorgeous he is and started thinking less than Christian thoughts...any who then along came another guy we'll call him Mr W. Now Mr W and me had a slight flirtation when he was on the rebound but now yet again I am feeling v close to him at the moment, he seems to have become my best friend over night, but as is the case men and women can not be friends without feelings getting in the way.

And then there is my boyfriend who is il in bed at home, I'm a real class act me. But with out house being finalised I'm starting to feel trapped. I'm also starting to feel trapped at work I miss working at Villa and being out on the town, instead of in bed with some hot choolate watchin Eastenders. As you can tell I'm in a bad blue mood, so I think perhaps its best to go outside and stand in the rain to clear my head, if only my hair would stay staight lol!! x x

Ive just got home all hot and bothered from the gym, no not because of my forty minutes on the cross trainer, but because of women. I struggle to get changed without flashing any skin, practically falling over how much I'm wrapped up in my towel doing the take of my underwear without anyone seeing dance and then there they are ...Naked and Shaven strutting around flashing everyone, I can feel myself turning red, thinking I need some Veet Stat and I also need to lose the cellulite and get some fake tan on the go.

I applaud these women for having the confidence but its just when you go the same gym as your friends parents it starts to get uncomfortable when a woman who is forty years your senior has more perky breasts and a perfectly formed bottom compared to yours. Perhaps it is me, the typical girl next door look, is out and tits on toast is in?

I have big boobs but I dont parade them for the world to see, I would be mortified walking around completely naked. Before you men run to join my gym I must warn you some of the naked women are old enough to be my grandmother, GILFS I would say they have perfect bodies. Perhaps I am niave I didnt realise you had to be stick thin to use the gym!!

Anyway enough of my neurosis I'm off to take a lovely bath and Veet my insecurities away!!

Many nights I have tried to answer that question, what is the way to a mans heart? The way to a mans heart is pack all his stuff in a bag for him to collect, wait for him to arrive ill, and then give him Corvonia and some Tissues and Kaboom you forget your fight and fall back in love, to watch "Spit Roast" Not the most romantic of men.

So today I have baked a cake to try to become a domestic goddess and make him fall deeper in love with me, if this doesn't work I shall be covering him in custard!!

Forgot to mention, as I used to work at Aston Villa FC, nothing spectacular I used to be a full time bar maid there, where I would serve the likes of Randy Learner, Gareth Barry, I even had the pleasure or working Lee Hendry's leaving do where I met Jamelia, Peter Crouch and big Ron and Bobby Charlton alongside a few Manchester United Players (Who are rude and Arrogant to say the least)!

But enough name dropping I thought youd like to know that I ran into Richard Fitzgerald on Thursday, I had the delight of him buying me a coffee and explaining why he has left Villa, Well are you sitting comfortably and I shall begin...

Randy Learner and Richard had an arguement regarding marketing views, Richard was working towards the financial potential of aiming Aston Villa at Birmingham and the local areas, whereas Randy wanted to focus upon widening the fan base into new markets internationally. Hmmm.. Look at me tryin to sound all clever, see its not what you know but who!!

Well here I am its Saturday night, I'm in bed alone, not a good sign. Last night I dodged the bullet with my step mum...phew! But I decided to spend some quality time with my boyfriend, but no he was off out for the night to play poker, so we decided to spend time together today...Big Mistake!! I can tell you it didnt go well, as I am alone surrounded by empty chocolate rappers..oh yes new Years Resoloution broken! I made it 31 days without chocolate, hence men are shit! I apologise if you are a man reading this but I am still upset and confused. Today I was screamed at in the streetby my boyfriend, where we alas had a huge fight.

Round One... goes to him, Ok Im a woman I nag and moan but this is my duty I understand that is a pain!

Round Two... goes to me, I cook, clean, and perform other tasks (leave that to your imagination) to make him happy with nothing in return, I even go to Ann Summers and buy him porn! Could I be a better girlfriend

Round Three.. goes to him, Hes been thinking for a while its not with the agro, and that hes fed up and wants his stuff

K.O.. I think its over, four years together turned to this, I am heartbroken and angry!!!Not only this but I am now left to make my own way home, not normally so bad but I had no cash, it was dark and I was lost.

So tonight I am heartbroken and crying, why didnt he say this yesterday when I had the horrible time of purchasing porn in Ann Summers! So now all his stuff is in black bags waiting for collection and my pillow is stained with mascara and tears, which to be honest makes a welcome change from the drool it normally gets covered in!

So tomorrow I have the need to go to the gym and get absoloutely gorgeous to make him eat his heart out, If I run really fast for forty five minutes on level 12 and use the cross trainer on level 18 for 20 minutes, surely I will be 5 stone lighter...Maybe not!! Ah well we have to start somewhere!!

Anyway enough ranting, I apologise but I needed to vent my anger on someone! Until next time you lucky Lucky people!!

What Happened to the snow? I'm warm and theres no excuses about tonight, what is tonight you may ask? Well tonight is the night I am meant to have dinner with my step mum, I do not want to go! I have no interest in hearing about how negectful my dad is and how horrible he is, I would rather curl up in bed with a box of chocolates but oh well live and learn. I have not eaten chocolate since last year boy do I miss it.

Any way I'm in my office looking at the clouds roll past the window. I want the snow I was promised on GMTV this morning!! Disappointed!! But at least with the sunshine I have managed to buy all my valentines day gifts and birthday presents in time. But I had an embarrasing experince today in Ann Summers, their I was trying to look all innocent looking for a lovely dvd for my boyfriend when alas over comes a sale assistant "do you need any help?" I thought what the hell, "Yes I'm looking for some hard core porn for my boyfriend for valentines day" (The shame!!) And to which she shouted "Claire, do we have any hardcore porn this lady wants some!" Then Claire became involved, which ended with me taking home a dvd entitled "spit roast" I wasnt sure if it was cookery or unadulterated sex! Either way if one of us will be disapoined.

Well hello everyone, I'll call myself Cannock Girl as I want this blog to remain honest pure and simple! When you name names things get complicated. Well any who lets get down to business I'm a twenty year old blonde from Cannock, I work in the centre of Birmingham and commute everyday, oh the joys of London Midland, please bring back Centro before its to late. I have alot going on at the moment. I'm finishin my degree alongside with work and trying to balance relationships, family, work and money all at the same time, what a complication.

Firsty my dad is having an affair and cheating on his wife at every possibility, my step mum has no idea why he has turned so cold. My mum is in love with a teacher, her husband however is a musician. I am in love with my boyfriend, who is terrified to commit to me and has other issues. I am terrible with money, I am constantly overdrawn and in the red! I am bullied at work by an opposing company and I feel totally alone. Did I mention I have an eating disorder, probably not I like to binge but not purge so I'mn not sure what that is classed as. Hmm...

I spend days longing for my old life, but I am content in my new one, so here is is my life for your viewing pleasue.