Blog in the Life of A Cannock Girl

Ive just got home all hot and bothered from the gym, no not because of my forty minutes on the cross trainer, but because of women. I struggle to get changed without flashing any skin, practically falling over how much I'm wrapped up in my towel doing the take of my underwear without anyone seeing dance and then there they are ...Naked and Shaven strutting around flashing everyone, I can feel myself turning red, thinking I need some Veet Stat and I also need to lose the cellulite and get some fake tan on the go.

I applaud these women for having the confidence but its just when you go the same gym as your friends parents it starts to get uncomfortable when a woman who is forty years your senior has more perky breasts and a perfectly formed bottom compared to yours. Perhaps it is me, the typical girl next door look, is out and tits on toast is in?

I have big boobs but I dont parade them for the world to see, I would be mortified walking around completely naked. Before you men run to join my gym I must warn you some of the naked women are old enough to be my grandmother, GILFS I would say they have perfect bodies. Perhaps I am niave I didnt realise you had to be stick thin to use the gym!!

Anyway enough of my neurosis I'm off to take a lovely bath and Veet my insecurities away!!

Many nights I have tried to answer that question, what is the way to a mans heart? The way to a mans heart is pack all his stuff in a bag for him to collect, wait for him to arrive ill, and then give him Corvonia and some Tissues and Kaboom you forget your fight and fall back in love, to watch "Spit Roast" Not the most romantic of men.

So today I have baked a cake to try to become a domestic goddess and make him fall deeper in love with me, if this doesn't work I shall be covering him in custard!!

Forgot to mention, as I used to work at Aston Villa FC, nothing spectacular I used to be a full time bar maid there, where I would serve the likes of Randy Learner, Gareth Barry, I even had the pleasure or working Lee Hendry's leaving do where I met Jamelia, Peter Crouch and big Ron and Bobby Charlton alongside a few Manchester United Players (Who are rude and Arrogant to say the least)!

But enough name dropping I thought youd like to know that I ran into Richard Fitzgerald on Thursday, I had the delight of him buying me a coffee and explaining why he has left Villa, Well are you sitting comfortably and I shall begin...

Randy Learner and Richard had an arguement regarding marketing views, Richard was working towards the financial potential of aiming Aston Villa at Birmingham and the local areas, whereas Randy wanted to focus upon widening the fan base into new markets internationally. Hmmm.. Look at me tryin to sound all clever, see its not what you know but who!!

Well here I am its Saturday night, I'm in bed alone, not a good sign. Last night I dodged the bullet with my step mum...phew! But I decided to spend some quality time with my boyfriend, but no he was off out for the night to play poker, so we decided to spend time together today...Big Mistake!! I can tell you it didnt go well, as I am alone surrounded by empty chocolate rappers..oh yes new Years Resoloution broken! I made it 31 days without chocolate, hence men are shit! I apologise if you are a man reading this but I am still upset and confused. Today I was screamed at in the streetby my boyfriend, where we alas had a huge fight.

Round One... goes to him, Ok Im a woman I nag and moan but this is my duty I understand that is a pain!

Round Two... goes to me, I cook, clean, and perform other tasks (leave that to your imagination) to make him happy with nothing in return, I even go to Ann Summers and buy him porn! Could I be a better girlfriend

Round Three.. goes to him, Hes been thinking for a while its not with the agro, and that hes fed up and wants his stuff

K.O.. I think its over, four years together turned to this, I am heartbroken and angry!!!Not only this but I am now left to make my own way home, not normally so bad but I had no cash, it was dark and I was lost.

So tonight I am heartbroken and crying, why didnt he say this yesterday when I had the horrible time of purchasing porn in Ann Summers! So now all his stuff is in black bags waiting for collection and my pillow is stained with mascara and tears, which to be honest makes a welcome change from the drool it normally gets covered in!

So tomorrow I have the need to go to the gym and get absoloutely gorgeous to make him eat his heart out, If I run really fast for forty five minutes on level 12 and use the cross trainer on level 18 for 20 minutes, surely I will be 5 stone lighter...Maybe not!! Ah well we have to start somewhere!!

Anyway enough ranting, I apologise but I needed to vent my anger on someone! Until next time you lucky Lucky people!!